


An Alternate Ending

by Raggetymanftw



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Crack Fic, I LITERALLY HAVE NO MORE FUCKS TO GIVE, I REGRET NOTHING, M/M, Swearing, cos I was angry, i suck, inappropriate use of Egyptian Gods, shitty badly written fourth wall breaks, there is so much crack in this you could snort it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 19:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7905343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raggetymanftw/pseuds/Raggetymanftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WHY DID I WRITE THIS????????????????????????</p><p>Yami refuses to accept the requirements and repercussions of the Ceremonial Duel.</p><p>(Think of this as a crack alternate ending for my other story "Sands of Time", but it also works as a stand alone piece)</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Alternate Ending

Yami frowned. Why was he even doing this? He had his own body, his memories. Yugi had defeated him. Who said he had to cross over right away? Yami looked at Yugi, his eyes watering as he prepared to open the door so Yami could cross over.

 

Just as Yugi was about to open his mouth, Yami moved forward quickly and put his pointer finger on Yugi’s lips, stopping the boy from speaking.

 

“Fuck. This.” Yami said, enunciating each syllable. He leaned in, removed his finger and kissed Yugi with as much passion as he could muster, startling a moan out of the younger boy. He pulled away, breathing heavily. Yami turned to Ishizu. “I was 17, nearly 18 when I died. Why do I have to cross over? Yeah, if I do, I’ll be back with my blood family. But I’ve already got a family, and everything I ever wanted, right here. This whole situation is shitty!”

 

Ishizu shrugged. “Sorry dude, but that’s the way it’s gotta be.”

 

Yami gripped Yugi’s hand and pulled him along as the ex-Pharaoh strode over and stood before Ishizu. “Why? Why does this fucking epic tv show that has been going on for five season have to end like this? I want a happy fucking ending! Who writes this bullshit? Get Ra in here! I want to sort this shit out!”

 

Suddenly, there was a loud rumble, almost like thunder. Then light filled the room. A door of pure light appeared next to the alter where Yugi and Yami had their duel. A huge man did a wheelie out of it and into the temple on a bmx bike, wearing a singlet that said “Sun’s Out, Guns Out” and a pair of dark green cargo shorts and flip flops.

 

He skidded to a stop in front of the assembled audience, dropping his bike on the ground, stepping over it before he removed his snapback, throwing it to the left and then removed his sunglasses, throwing them to the right. He walked towards them as if he was listening to music the others couldn’t hear.

 

The man came over to Yami and fist bumped him. “’Sup whatever-ya-name-is-this-week? I’m the great god Ra if you didn’t already figure it out. What do you want, brah? I was on my way to a party!”

 

Yami pulled a script out on the back of his pants and threw it at Ra. “Did you write this? What sort of ending is this?”

 

Ra shrugged. “It’s the whole friendship thing. You know how no-homo Western culture is about this kind of stuff.”

 

“Re-write it. I don’t want to leave. I’ve saved the world like, four times in the past five seasons. You kinda owe me a little.” Yami said.

 

Ra flipped through the script before throwing it over his shoulder, the screech of a cat and the sound of a rubbish can falling over filled the temple. “Right on, dude. Alrighty then. You can’t get much gayer than what you just did and still it be rated PG for the kiddies, so I’m not gonna change that. So whatevers.” Ra clicked his fingers and Yami suddenly looked like how he did back in Egypt when he was Pharaoh. “Mostly so people don’t think you and Yugi are brothers. Cos, in this day and age, incest isn’t really the hip new thing. Kay, go and be happy. You’re free. You’ll go to the afterlife after you live with Yugi for at least another 50 or 60 years. Go and be gay, my sweet gay babies.”

 

With one last fist bump to Yami and Yugi, Ra picked up his bike, got back on it and rode back out of the temple.

 

Everyone fell silent.

 

“Well then.” Yugi said, feeling a little self-conscious, especially after everyone saw Yami make-out with him.

 

“Right, you lot, we’re leaving. Bye temple. Me and Yugi need to go back to our hotel room and fuck. Laters!” Yami said, dragging Yugi by the arm up the stairs and out of them temple.

 

Tea was standing there in shock. “Why are all the good ones gay?”

 

“Cos all the bad ones are already taken?” Ishizu replied.

 

“And also gay.” Tea added.

 

Joey sighed. “Okay, this is going nowhere. Now this fanfic is over (cos the author doesn’t know what else to write and who cares tbh?), and Yami and Yugi are going to be gay and together forever, can we go home now?”


End file.
